Flower IQ

The 16 questions

• The Pinterest board — Forty pins and one word: “this”. The most expensive sentence in flowers.
• Three florists, three languages — One itemizes. One names a design fee. One asks your budget. Which is cheapest?
• The wind — Outdoor ceremony, a seven-foot arch, and Saturday’s forecast says gusty. It’s heavy. It’s fine.
• The flowers on the cake — The baker asks what’s going on the cake. “Whatever’s left from the bouquets.”
• I’ll do the flowers myself — Buckets, a cool room, three days, and a cousin who said she’d help.
• The dusty blue — Blue carnations, a tinted rose, dyed pampas. Blue is blue. Isn’t it?
• The lily — Big open blooms, and in the middle of each one, six little sticks of orange powder.
• The Tuesday the peonies don’t land — The contract says “reasonable substitutions”. Nobody asked what reasonable means.
• Flowers at ten, photos at six — They last a week in a vase. So they’ll last a day in the sun. Won’t they?
• The nine a.m. delivery — The florist asked what time. You said nine in the morning, because earlier feels safer.
• The walk-in — The flowers land at nine. The ceremony is at four. The fridge is right there.
• The arch at eight a.m. — A seven-foot floral arch and a five-hour build. The day before sounds calm.
• “Just greenery, so it’s cheap” — Garland down every table and over the arch. It’s leaves. Leaves are cheap.
• We’ll add two tables the week of — The RSVPs ran long. Two more tables, the Monday before. The florist will figure it out.
• The centerpiece you can’t talk over — Slide to the height a centerpiece has to stay under, so the table can talk.
• The national average — Slide to what couples actually spend on flowers. Then ignore it.