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The first two weeks engaged: three talks before the announcements

Enjoy it, insure the ring, and agree on money, the rough guest count and your one must-have together, before anyone else gets a vote.

The first two weeks set expectations you will live with for months. Nothing has to be booked yet. A few things are worth doing before the questions start arriving.

Take a moment first

Under Jamie Wolfer’s “DO NOT DO THIS Newly Engaged” video, one viewer wrote that they regretted jumping straight into planning and telling people quickly, and wished they had enjoyed being engaged as a couple first. WeddingWire suggests putting serious wedding topics off for at least a month, and telling eager relatives there is plenty of time.

Three talks, just the two of you

  1. Money and pace. Sit down together and draft a budget and a rough timeline (Zola). If family may contribute, that belongs in this talk, before anyone offers in public.
  2. The rough guest count. Find out whether you are on the same page about the size of the wedding (Zola). Count households, not names: most friends bring someone.
  3. The one must-have. Another viewer on the same video said the first thing to decide is your deal-breaker or must-have; theirs was the officiant who had known the family for years. Knowing yours makes every later choice easier.

Hold these back

  • Invitations, even spoken ones. Hold off on inviting anyone until planning is underway (Zola). “Of course you’re coming” in week one is a chair in month eight.
  • The wedding party. Wait to ask your helpers until you know the basics: the budget, the venue and the kind of wedding you want (Zola).
  • Contracts. Put real time into the basics before booking a venue or any vendor (Zola).

Do this one now: the ring

Get the ring appraised, then insured. Most jewelry experts suggest a policy with a jewelry insurer rather than extending homeowner’s or renter’s insurance (Zola).

Family opinions

Families can get opinionated about vendors, venues and choices (WeddingWire). Take unsolicited advice with grace, without being quick to take it to heart (Zola). Each of you answers your own family; it lands better coming from them.

Sources

A wedplan.ai guide on the Just engaged board. More planning guides.